Sunday, May 16, 2010

TV viewing # draft one #

Television is a fascinating invention which fulfills the need of both young and old. Nowadays television is so prevalent in the world where 90% of the households in the developed country own at least one television set (Sharif 1999). According to American Time Use Survey (2003), the American spends most of their time on watching television. The spending of time on this sedentary activity has induced the concern about the effect of television viewing. People start to discuss and argue whether watching television is a boon or a detriment to the people. Without any doubt, I asserted that television viewing brings uncountable benefits to the viewers.

First, hefty information are passed to the viewers where television acts as an audio-visual medium to deliver the information (Leigh 2001). By viewing TV program, people can experience the wonders of the nature, the beauty of the world and marvels of the science world in an entertaining and enjoyable manner (Rutherford 2002). It is postulated that people are now more aware about their country, their own cultures and foreign cultures (Leigh 2001). People are also clearer about the international news in the world. Rather than becoming spoon-feeds viewers, they are building up curiosity about the world and start exploring the things by themselves. For instance, they are motivated to do charity works such as collect fund for victims of famine in Africa (Sharif 1999).

Besides, learning process can be implemented more efficiently with the incorporation of television throughout the process. Television is a powerful and influential learning tool where knowledge can be presented in a more catchy form. The science, geography and other subjects can be shown in an absorbing style, enable the learner to absorb that knowledge smoothly (Leigh 2001). Evidences proved that students are more acceptances of learning knowledge through watching and hearing rather than reading solely (Leigh 2001). Moreover, small children like pre-scholars can start learning letters, words, number and colour by watching educational programs such as “Play School”. These programs include animation and puppets in the shows which make the process more fun (Rutherfood 2002). In the end, children are inclined to master larger vocabulary.

Last but not least, television viewing intrigues critical thinking among the viewer. Families can harness any program shown as a topic for the discussion with their child. This helps to develop critical thinking that is needed in the social setting (Sharif 1999). On the other hand, TV program broadcasting latest current events of local and world arouses the attention of the viewer and people will pay attention to those grave issues critically and meticulously. This catalyzes the involvement of public in those issues and pressures are being deployed on the party involved (Rutherfood 2002). Therefore decision makers will consider the reaction of the audience before making any conclusion. This indirectly promotes the development of democracy around the world (Rutherfood 2002).

In short, television viewing enable the viewer to learn vast amount of information and knowledge other than develop critical thinking. Although some said that excessive viewing of television will nullify the anticipated benefits, mitigation can be carried to reduce the severity triggered by excessive TV viewing. Therefore, I strongly believed that people are profoundly benefited from TV viewing if this usual activity is carried out in a modest manner.

3 comments:

  1. The thesis statement is not clearly clarified with all the main points. Besides, I have found some grammatical mistakes and vocabulary are not suitable in your essay:
    1. For 1st paragraph, “……90% of the households in the developed country own at least one television set……..” ( should be developed countries, in plural.)
    2. “I firmly asserted…… “(should be assert, not past tense.)
    3. For 2nd paragraph, “First, hefty information are passed to the viewers where television acts as an audio-visual medium to deliver the information…” I think u should rephrase this sentences, it doesn’t sound fluent.
    4. “ the beauty of the world and marvels….” (should be in plural.)
    5. “It is postulated that people are now more aware…” for the words “postulated”, I don’t think it is suitable to be used in this sentences. Because for my understanding, postulate means assume. I m not very sure on it.
    6. “….building up curiosity about the world and start exploring the things by themsel…” ( things is plural, so can’t put “the” in front of the words.)
    7. For 3rd paragraph, 1st sentences, “…learning process can be implemented more efficiently with the incorporation….” (efficiently is adv, it should be in adj (efficient) )
    8. “…Evidences proved that students are more acceptances of learning knowledge through…” (no “s” for the acceptance because it is singular and also u should use “by “rather than “of” to connect the sentences “…are more acceptance by learning knowledge..”
    9. “….start learning letters, words, number(s)and colour(s) by watching educational programs such as “Play School”….”
    10. “….puppets in the (show) which make…” no ‘s’ for show.
    11. “In the end, children are inclined to master larger vocabulary.” I think there is other adj more suitable to be used as to describe vocablurary instead of larger.
    12. For 4th paragraph, “On the other hand, TV program (broadcasts) latest current events of local and world (,) arouses the attention of the viewer and people will pay attention to…..”
    13. For the last paragraph, “…information and knowledge other than develop…”other than means except, I think u should change it.
    14. “Although some (say) that excessive…..”
    15. “Therefore, I strongly (believe) that people are profoundly benefits…..”
    Although, there are some grammatical and careless mistakes in the essay, but collectively all the topic sentences are being supported and elaborated well with adequate of examples. All the contents are extracted and quoted correctly from the texts provided. Some more, beautiful words are used in the passage, and I do learn a lots of new vocabs…. Well done!!! ^O^

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  2. Thanks.... I just realize that there are so many grammatical mistake in my essay. Your comments do help to improve my essay.

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